Teenagers...Should We Keep Them?

Warning :When you have a baby the hospital will make you bring it home. Most of us fall immediately and hopelessly in love with these sweet smelling, magical little bundles and happily welcome them into our homes. They're so cute we're even willing to overlook the pooping and the crying. But what the hospital neglects to tell you is that one day that adorable baby with the unimaginably cute little tiny toes will turn into a teenager. I know, it seems like an obvious eventuality but I've fallen for this ruse four times. I got a call recently that has me questioning if I'm keeping my youngest son or not. He and a friend of his, both honor students, were caught drinking. They raided the liquor cabinet after his friends parents had gone to bed. My first thought was how very much I appreciated the Mother calling to tell me...I'm sorry to say some parents wouldn't have. My next thought involved boarding schools in Russia. So my question of the day is, what's the appropriate punishment? I've been a Mother for 24 years and I still find myself wondering, "Hmm...how would a real parent handle this?"

Ruby's Take:  I was a little insulted my son thought I'd buy the "I'm just really tired" line...like I'm too stupid to know what a hangover looks like. My suspicions were already raised and I was debating calling his friends Mother when she called me. Since he'd been throwing up I thought it best to deal with the physical symptoms first. I had him take advil and gave him chicken soup and orange juice to replace the lost electrolytes. Once his nausea cleared up a bit I moved him on to manual labor. The backyard needed cleaned up, we have three dogs so you can imagine how pleasant that was. Then I had him clean his room and the basement. He is grounded for two weeks, from friends, internet other than school, and video games but I keep feeling maybe I'm letting him off too easy. I know most kids do things like this, and yes I did too, but I don't want him thinking its okay. I don't keep alcohol in the house. Not from any personal beliefs against it I've just reached an age where the phrase "I need a drink." means coffee. I'm curious to know what other parents would have done.

Churches and Underwear

Yep...you read that title correctly! Churches are just like underwear. Finding the right fit is extremely important.

Sarah's View:   My theory is this . . . underwear comes in all kinds of sizes, colors and styles. Hmmmm just like churches.  You can find granny panties, thongs, tighty whiteys, leopard print, red satin, and even character underwear.  Churches have Pentecostal, Methodist, Vineyard, traditional, contemporary, Baptist, Holy Rollers, and even backwoods snake handlers. God has created us all different and unique.We cannot all be happy with the same type of church (or underwear).  I have a friend who doesn't want any music in her church service, quite the opposite of my church where we rock it every week.  I have a friend who only wears red thongs, again quite different from my choice of garment! Does that make one right and one wrong. . . no way.   We are just different and in different stages in our life.  If you find the wrong fit, it is bad. . .it, you know, gets stuck in your crack and just makes life uncomfortable.  Take the time and effort to find the right fit for you in your specific time in life. Your needs will probably change as you grow...the end result is that we will find ""depend"ance on God and the "depends" panties . . . .

Ruby's Take: According to Sarah's theory, I've been "going commando" for many years. I agree your choice of church is as personal as your choice in underwear. You have to try them out before committing to a decision. I tried a thong once...for about an hour. Seriously, it was like wearing dental floss. My daughter said "Mom you have to get used to it." I don't want to have to build up a tolerance to my underwear! Or to my church. Church is where people go to worship whatever God they believe in. It should be a safe place that feels comfortable and welcoming. Several years ago I attended church but never felt like I truly belonged. Everyone was wonderful to me but I felt like an outsider. They were all experiencing something I wasn't and try as I might I just couldn't feel it. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. Ultimately I realized (much as I realized I can't wear a thong) that there's nothing wrong or defective with me, I just don't believe in what they do. It doesn't make me right and them wrong. I stopped going. There's a church out there for everyone, a place to go on Sunday morning where you feel free and safe to worship. You just have to find it. Mine is the local Starbucks, which is really close to the mall and I could use some new underwear...maybe I'll try some of those boy shorts.

Glee - Kurt Hummel

If you haven't heard of  Glee you've been living under a rock. This show almost makes me wish I could go back to high school just to join the glee club...almost. It's an interesting mash-up (gleekers will appreciate the reference) of multiple races and includes physically and mentally challenged cast members. But my favorite, hands down, is openly gay Kurt Hummel portrayed by Chris Colfer. His amazing voice aside, I love how the writers are depicting him. He joins the football team but has to do it his way...dancing to Beyonce before kicking the ball. I love that he isn't ashamed of nor does he try to hide who he is. I can't recall a single gay character on television when I was growing up...although I wondered about Felix and just how "Odd" a couple they were. Like it or hate it more and more gay characters are being portrayed on television.

Ruby's Take:  This is an issue near and dear to my heart having grown up with a gay sister. Kurt's Fathers response of , yeah I've known since you were six years-old, when Kurt came out to him really rang true. Even as a small child I suspected my sister was gay. Coming out was more difficult for her to say than it was for me to hear. I love, love, love the way they wrote Kurt's Father, Burt, played by Mike O'Malley. He's a mechanic who owns his own garage, loves sports and is a "man's man". Not the kind of man you'd expect to have a gay son or to accept him but he does. It's not what I would have chosen for you but you're my son and I love you. It's touching to watch the interactions between these two characters. My fifteen year-old son and I were watching a recent episode  where some football players are menacingly harassing Kurt. It was frankly hard to watch because I hate thinking anyone is treated that way. I turned to my son and asked if that's what its like at his high school. He said "No Mom, not at all!" He says no one at his school cares about sexuality, there are several openly gay kids and they aren't ostracized or tormented. I would like to believe the attitude at my son's school is the norm but I know it isn't. There are many gay teens living in fear of or hiding who they are but I hope characters like Kurt Hummel will help pave the way for change. Kudos to Chris Colfer and Mike O'Malley for doing such a wonderfully poignant job portraying these characters.

Sarah's View:  I am aware that there seems to be trends and bandwagons that the masses jump on.    Glee is not immune . . . they are spurring excitement for show choirs around the world. . . .(finally, the recognition that they deserve, right?!)  . . . they have also touched on the theme of gay teens being bullied.    Sadly, this trend of bullying is one we should all be aware of.  Too often, we see or hear of someone being bullied or ostracized and we do nothing for fear of outlash against our own individual rights.  Gay rights,  I realize, can be a very touchy subject.   I am a Christian believer, a person who without doubt believes in the Bible and the teachings that are found throughout His word.   No matter what I feel or believe about homosexuality, I know that the Bible teaches me to love and to not pass judgement upon others.   My  heart breaks for teens (and adults) that have found themselves in situations where they are unsafe because of the person that they have become.     The subject isn't  as personal for me as it is for Ruby.   I don't know very many openly gay people.  ( I do know Ruby's sister and have always been a bit intimidated by her intelligence.)   I'm sure that I know people who have kept quiet because of potential judgement and sadly probably judgement by Christians.    For that, I think I have to take a stand. . . the same stand that Jesus preaches throughout the New Testament   "and the greatest of these is love".   What would our world look like if all Christians promoted the kind of love to stick up for others, to encourage others and to love them.    Can you imagine it?!   1 Corinthians 13:8 states "Such Spirit-inspired love never fails but always flourishes."   Now, can we just get a show tune about that. . . . ah, do you hear it. . . . "All we need is love, love, all we ever need is love!"   

Black Friday

It is now the second week of November and the spoiler websites are beginning to post . . . . yes, it is the time of year when Black Friday becomes another holiday.    Love it or hate it, it is looming closer on our calendar.    Question of the day -- Will you shop on Black Friday?

Sarah's View:    Absolutely!   This is probably one of my favorite days of the year.   I love it when the ads get dropped in the driveway on Wednesday night.   After cooking for more hours than I care to admit,  I spend even more hours looking through the advertisements to compare the best deals against my childrens wish lists.    My goal is to be completely done with Christmas shopping on Black Friday.   I generally have about half done before the big day.    I have three children at vastly different stages in their lives . . . oldest son is 22 years old, then daughter is 15, and small son of age 6 who wants EVERY toy advertised on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon (minus anything with Barbie, of course!)   I love the rush of finding the toy, meeting all kinds of people in lines and learning about them, and of course saving money.    Please don't think I fall into the commercial sell out of Christmas.   I believe with all my heart that Christmas is about the GIFT of Jesus. . .and I celebrate that.   I put up about 5 Christmas trees and love to decorate every inch of the house.   I make many presents and bake so much that I am surprised I haven't burnt out my oven.   I buy my family way too many presents. . ..  but it is a celebration time from God's love, my heart and hubby's wallet.  

Ruby's Take:  Black Friday is something Sarah invites me to partake in every year and every year I chuckle at the thought. Getting up at an ungodly hour to fight through hordes of  people just so I can come to blows with someone over a Snuggie?! I'll pass. I am so not a shopper I keep waiting to have my woman card revoked. When I need a new outfit for something I either borrow from Sarah or send my oldest daughter shopping, she knows all my sizes and enjoys shopping. (Maybe it skips a generation in my family.) Not only do I not enjoy shopping but I'm the most unorganized person I know. Christmas falls on December 25th every year, without fail, yet somehow it always sneaks up on me. I doubt there's been one Christmas since my kids were born where I wasn't frantically shopping on Christmas Eve. Although, I've found last minute shopping really takes the pressure off gift giving because at this juncture I'm not thinking about getting anyone what they want, I'm thinking I better just get them something. Jar of jelly? Hey! That looks good and the kids like jelly. What goes with jelly? Peanut Butter! Now I don't really buy my kids peanut butter and jelly for Christmas but you get the gist. So while Sarah is out fighting the crowds on Black Friday and finishing up her shopping, I'll be sleeping in then I'll consider doing some shopping online then I'll go back to bed for a while. After all, I've got to get rested up so I can fight hordes of people on Christmas Eve and finally come to blows over a jar of jelly.

The Quarter Auction

Tonight the Cornoisseur's attended a quarter auction to raise money for Sarah's daughter's show choir. This is a fundraiser where you hold up your paddle and toss a quarter in a bowl to bid on certain items. Once all the quarters are collected for that particular item they draw a number out of a hat. If the number called is yours, you've won the selected item for the bargain price of a quarter. It's like a cross between bingo and an auction.

Ruby's Take: It's a sad state of affairs when going to a high school show choir fundraiser is my big Saturday night out...but I figured it would be even more sad to sit home wishing someone would invent chocolate covered potato chips. I met Sarah at her house and we headed over to the auction. After a few ladies had explained the concept to us we chose our numbered paddles and checked out the merchandise. There were some cute things but not being a chachkie lover I gravitated toward the food based items. You can't go wrong with food. The basket with the Frankenberry cereal and matching hot pink and purple cups and bowls caught my eye but sadly it never went up for auction. I think it was there as a tease. ( I have to say Sarah thought it was horrid but I was excited, I didn't know they still made Frankenberry!) Strangely enough there was a gift certificate for permanent makeup and a night in a hotel. Now there's an odd combo. Throw in the Frankenberry and that could be a memorable evening! We sadly didn't win anything but I'm sure the choir came out ahead. It was a unique way to raise money, preferable to selling wrapping paper and now I'll at least be able to tell my co-workers I did something this weekend. As a school fundraiser I'd give it a two thumbs up, my daughter brought home a box of candy bars to sell and, as predicted, my household bought every stinking one. As a Saturday night out on the town I'd give it a half-hearted thumb up...the only cute boy over the age of twelve I saw all evening was Sarah's son and charming as he is, he doesn't count. There were a few ladies present that travel around from auction to auction...they didn't even have kids at that school! If I become that desperate someone shoot me...oh wait...never mind, scratch that.

Sarah's View: This was such an interesting and new concept for us, that we decided to check it out.Yes, it was a school fundraiser; but seriously who do you know who has been to a quarter auction?!   I venture to guess that most people I know have never been. . . until now. The good news is that the choir collected $825 in funds for the evening! That is exciting and part of the reason that I wanted to go on this little adventure. Ruby went along so that she could get out of the house. We tend to have fun whenever we are together and being in the school cafeteria was no exception. We got quite a kick out of the whole procedure of bidding on weird items and the lack of us winning any items added to our giggles. We bid on a variety of items from boxes of macaroni and cheese with a cow fairy (seriously, I am NOT kidding) to Vera Bradley purses. Nothing that either of us saw was exceptional, but we figured for a quarter it would be nice. I know that Ruby  loved the Frankenberry cereal box, but I am sure that those can be found at Odd Lots or a very old grocery store in the hills of Appalachia. . . . My favorite item was a Pampered Chef platter with serving spoon. Very nice, especially nice if you won it for a quarter!

We spent $2 on our paddles and then split a $10 quarter roll. We laughed and only spent $7 for an evening and the school raised money for the choir. Pretty good event. I wish that the items had been a little more high class and I think that if you win once they should take your number out of the running for a few rounds. Really, #65. . . do you think it is fair that you won over 9 items at the auction??!? What would have made it a higher rating = better atmosphere, hubby and if Ruby or I would have won something :)

Raising Hope

Have you seen this show???   Something that we both agree is a comical half hour of craziness.   Cloris is hilarious as Maw-Maw and who couldn't love the storyline . . .  former teenage parents have raised their twenty-something son.   He has a one night fling with a serial killer, she gets the electric chair and he gets the baby.   So now we have a house full of Hope (baby's name), the father, his parents and his grandmother trying to figure out best practices for life.    Here's why we like it . . .

Sarah's View:    Sometimes the best humor is found in the truth of life.   Honestly,  don't we all  have some people in our family that we just can't explain to the outside public?!    The show demonstrates that the family,  despite the hardships that they face, loves each other and really tries to do the right thing.  I am grateful for the portrayal of a single dad.  We don't hear or see about this on television too much, but the reality is there.   My oldest son knows two buddies that are raising their children.  They try and they truly love the children.  But let's face it. . . . pretty sure they call it "mothering" because it is usually done by the "mother".   Is that why it is so funny?

Ruby's take: I say anything portraying octogenarian Cloris Leachman attempting to breastfeed gets a gold star from me. Her character is demented in every sense of the word. I love the mix of crazy and poignant because that's what it's like to be a part of a family. One minute you want to choke them, the next you can't imagine life without them. The quirky grocery store clerk is probably my favorite character, but Martha and Garret's characters are also near and dear to my heart. Teen parents who had to learn how to live and parent on the fly but still never gave up on their dreams, no matter how unattainable. They tried the best they could and never lost...well they never lost Hope. 

Intro to Cornoisseuring - Valley Vineyards

My friend and I recently went to a wine tasting. We are both college educated, intelligent, worldly women...although worldly perhaps has a connotation she wouldn't appreciate...I digress. We're at a wine tasting chuckling over the descriptive terms. I'm not sure how "full-bodied" applies to wine but I know I don't like it when shopping for clothes and try as we might, neither of us could taste the "subtle chocolate nuances". So we decided to make a guide using language everyone can understand like..."sucks", or "good", or, my favorite, "so sweet I went into diabetic shock just sniffing it". We further decided not to limit ourselves to wine since we possess such vast knowledge and since one of us drinks wine out of a box at home and one of us can't afford too many wine tastings. So herein lies our first review.


Ruby's Take: https://www.valleyvineyards.com/ Our group consists of Sarah and her husband and me and my date. The place has a warm homey feel, lots of wood, brick and candles in the decor. You get to choose a flight of sweet or dry wines to sample then can choose a bottle to drink. I opt for the sweet since my date is a wine newbie who normally drinks Naty Light which I'm sorry...doesn't really even count as beer. Sarah and hubby choose the sweet as well so we can all rate each wine. I suggested they get the dry so we can have a larger variety to sample but was essentially told to get my own. There are pitchers of water so you can cleanse the palette if you so choose. We left the water alone...had to save room for the wine. My favorite of the sweet whites is probably the Niagra. I'm not sure what "varietal" means but it was a crisp and grapey wine and didn't make my date make a face. The honey mead was so sweet you could serve it on pancakes but after a couple sips not too bad. We opted for one of the reds as our bottle and I honestly don't remember which one it was...we'd had a lot of wine at this point...I should take notes next time. I would like to note there is at least one cute boy there to look at. I know I'm not supposed to notice that when I'm on a date but come on...anyone who drinks Naty light is going for quantity not quality so he's not relationship material anyway and there's no harm in looking. Overall opinion, I would definitely go back. 

Sarah's View Valley Vineyard is a favorite date place for me and my hubby. It is not full of people  (generally) nor is it a fancy place with frill...it is a spot for people to laugh, talk and reconnect.    After running the children, keeping up with all the extracurricular activities, housekeeping, work and family needs...a date with a cute guy (aka Hubby), a bottle of wine and a warm fireplace fulfills a quiet need to be listened to and to feel like an individual rather than a minivan and maid.   The vineyard offers dinner which is fun; you cook your own steak or salmon,  get a bottle of wine, salad, baked potato, veggies and dessert for $50 a couple. However, lately we have been just getting the wine sampler with a homemade pizza. Hubby is not normally a wine drinker but enjoys the novelty of tasting the different kinds (and pretending to be a connoisseur). I am normally a white wine, Chardonnay kind of lady, so ordering the sampler gives us both a different taste and something to discuss. After you have been together for 20 years, discussion becomes a tad more challenging especially when you throw in the rules about no talking about work or the children.   Hence, our decision to arrange date night around a sampler. So, we take Ruby and date. He's weird (as usual), cute but keeps reciting Monty Python movie lines. Personally, never seen the movie and I'm glad I have wine. It is funny to read what they write about the wines. Hubby and I choose Red Reflections...it is fruity and hearty with a little zing; can't really taste the "blueberry, black raspberry and black currants". We also liked the Niagra with "clean finish bouquet of butterscotch" or as Hubby stated, drink enough of that one and you could call it Viagra! I liked Vidal Blanc because it started off tart but ended up sweet; I guess that is what they called "aromas of pear, apple and melon". Hubby liked Pink Catawba with "lemon zest and good jolt"; he just liked that it didn't taste like Chardonnay. My least favs. . . Ice Wine; it tasted like the syrup stuff at the bottom of a snow cone, AND it is the most expensive! I also didn't care for Concord; supposed to have a "long, lingering finish"...I felt like I was confessing at church and waiting for the communion bread! I also didn't like  Honey Mead; "liquid gold" or rock candy juice. As I have already stated, I love this place. It is fun, different and reasonably priced.