Teenagers...Should We Keep Them?

Warning :When you have a baby the hospital will make you bring it home. Most of us fall immediately and hopelessly in love with these sweet smelling, magical little bundles and happily welcome them into our homes. They're so cute we're even willing to overlook the pooping and the crying. But what the hospital neglects to tell you is that one day that adorable baby with the unimaginably cute little tiny toes will turn into a teenager. I know, it seems like an obvious eventuality but I've fallen for this ruse four times. I got a call recently that has me questioning if I'm keeping my youngest son or not. He and a friend of his, both honor students, were caught drinking. They raided the liquor cabinet after his friends parents had gone to bed. My first thought was how very much I appreciated the Mother calling to tell me...I'm sorry to say some parents wouldn't have. My next thought involved boarding schools in Russia. So my question of the day is, what's the appropriate punishment? I've been a Mother for 24 years and I still find myself wondering, "Hmm...how would a real parent handle this?"

Ruby's Take:  I was a little insulted my son thought I'd buy the "I'm just really tired" line...like I'm too stupid to know what a hangover looks like. My suspicions were already raised and I was debating calling his friends Mother when she called me. Since he'd been throwing up I thought it best to deal with the physical symptoms first. I had him take advil and gave him chicken soup and orange juice to replace the lost electrolytes. Once his nausea cleared up a bit I moved him on to manual labor. The backyard needed cleaned up, we have three dogs so you can imagine how pleasant that was. Then I had him clean his room and the basement. He is grounded for two weeks, from friends, internet other than school, and video games but I keep feeling maybe I'm letting him off too easy. I know most kids do things like this, and yes I did too, but I don't want him thinking its okay. I don't keep alcohol in the house. Not from any personal beliefs against it I've just reached an age where the phrase "I need a drink." means coffee. I'm curious to know what other parents would have done.

Churches and Underwear

Yep...you read that title correctly! Churches are just like underwear. Finding the right fit is extremely important.

Sarah's View:   My theory is this . . . underwear comes in all kinds of sizes, colors and styles. Hmmmm just like churches.  You can find granny panties, thongs, tighty whiteys, leopard print, red satin, and even character underwear.  Churches have Pentecostal, Methodist, Vineyard, traditional, contemporary, Baptist, Holy Rollers, and even backwoods snake handlers. God has created us all different and unique.We cannot all be happy with the same type of church (or underwear).  I have a friend who doesn't want any music in her church service, quite the opposite of my church where we rock it every week.  I have a friend who only wears red thongs, again quite different from my choice of garment! Does that make one right and one wrong. . . no way.   We are just different and in different stages in our life.  If you find the wrong fit, it is bad. . .it, you know, gets stuck in your crack and just makes life uncomfortable.  Take the time and effort to find the right fit for you in your specific time in life. Your needs will probably change as you grow...the end result is that we will find ""depend"ance on God and the "depends" panties . . . .

Ruby's Take: According to Sarah's theory, I've been "going commando" for many years. I agree your choice of church is as personal as your choice in underwear. You have to try them out before committing to a decision. I tried a thong once...for about an hour. Seriously, it was like wearing dental floss. My daughter said "Mom you have to get used to it." I don't want to have to build up a tolerance to my underwear! Or to my church. Church is where people go to worship whatever God they believe in. It should be a safe place that feels comfortable and welcoming. Several years ago I attended church but never felt like I truly belonged. Everyone was wonderful to me but I felt like an outsider. They were all experiencing something I wasn't and try as I might I just couldn't feel it. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me. Ultimately I realized (much as I realized I can't wear a thong) that there's nothing wrong or defective with me, I just don't believe in what they do. It doesn't make me right and them wrong. I stopped going. There's a church out there for everyone, a place to go on Sunday morning where you feel free and safe to worship. You just have to find it. Mine is the local Starbucks, which is really close to the mall and I could use some new underwear...maybe I'll try some of those boy shorts.

Glee - Kurt Hummel

If you haven't heard of  Glee you've been living under a rock. This show almost makes me wish I could go back to high school just to join the glee club...almost. It's an interesting mash-up (gleekers will appreciate the reference) of multiple races and includes physically and mentally challenged cast members. But my favorite, hands down, is openly gay Kurt Hummel portrayed by Chris Colfer. His amazing voice aside, I love how the writers are depicting him. He joins the football team but has to do it his way...dancing to Beyonce before kicking the ball. I love that he isn't ashamed of nor does he try to hide who he is. I can't recall a single gay character on television when I was growing up...although I wondered about Felix and just how "Odd" a couple they were. Like it or hate it more and more gay characters are being portrayed on television.

Ruby's Take:  This is an issue near and dear to my heart having grown up with a gay sister. Kurt's Fathers response of , yeah I've known since you were six years-old, when Kurt came out to him really rang true. Even as a small child I suspected my sister was gay. Coming out was more difficult for her to say than it was for me to hear. I love, love, love the way they wrote Kurt's Father, Burt, played by Mike O'Malley. He's a mechanic who owns his own garage, loves sports and is a "man's man". Not the kind of man you'd expect to have a gay son or to accept him but he does. It's not what I would have chosen for you but you're my son and I love you. It's touching to watch the interactions between these two characters. My fifteen year-old son and I were watching a recent episode  where some football players are menacingly harassing Kurt. It was frankly hard to watch because I hate thinking anyone is treated that way. I turned to my son and asked if that's what its like at his high school. He said "No Mom, not at all!" He says no one at his school cares about sexuality, there are several openly gay kids and they aren't ostracized or tormented. I would like to believe the attitude at my son's school is the norm but I know it isn't. There are many gay teens living in fear of or hiding who they are but I hope characters like Kurt Hummel will help pave the way for change. Kudos to Chris Colfer and Mike O'Malley for doing such a wonderfully poignant job portraying these characters.

Sarah's View:  I am aware that there seems to be trends and bandwagons that the masses jump on.    Glee is not immune . . . they are spurring excitement for show choirs around the world. . . .(finally, the recognition that they deserve, right?!)  . . . they have also touched on the theme of gay teens being bullied.    Sadly, this trend of bullying is one we should all be aware of.  Too often, we see or hear of someone being bullied or ostracized and we do nothing for fear of outlash against our own individual rights.  Gay rights,  I realize, can be a very touchy subject.   I am a Christian believer, a person who without doubt believes in the Bible and the teachings that are found throughout His word.   No matter what I feel or believe about homosexuality, I know that the Bible teaches me to love and to not pass judgement upon others.   My  heart breaks for teens (and adults) that have found themselves in situations where they are unsafe because of the person that they have become.     The subject isn't  as personal for me as it is for Ruby.   I don't know very many openly gay people.  ( I do know Ruby's sister and have always been a bit intimidated by her intelligence.)   I'm sure that I know people who have kept quiet because of potential judgement and sadly probably judgement by Christians.    For that, I think I have to take a stand. . . the same stand that Jesus preaches throughout the New Testament   "and the greatest of these is love".   What would our world look like if all Christians promoted the kind of love to stick up for others, to encourage others and to love them.    Can you imagine it?!   1 Corinthians 13:8 states "Such Spirit-inspired love never fails but always flourishes."   Now, can we just get a show tune about that. . . . ah, do you hear it. . . . "All we need is love, love, all we ever need is love!"